Discouraged

March 22, 2012
Pain Field
Cessna 152
1.1 hours, 11 landings

Happy birthday to me. Still no solo. Winds at 14 knots. Stayed in the pattern the whole time. I finished my exam he had me take home, but we didn’t go over it since the weather was still flyable.14 knots of winds pretty harsh but it was almost a direct headwind. Glad I got to go up, it was a great expirence to feel what the wind does to you. Especially just changing the degrees of the flaps. From 20 degrees to 30 (full) the drag was increased so much it was ridiculous. At one point I almost didn’t even make it to the runway because of how much the winds were pushing me back. I learned a lot today. Still upset I’m not soloing. Decided I’m going to go jump out of a plane(skydive) since I won’t be flying one solo, that'll be my birthday present to myself. 

At this point I want my solo out of the way, I’ll just be glad I finally reached that step so I can move on. I have so little time and am not progressing at all. Not to mention there’s hardly any scholarships to apply for if you haven’t soloed or aren’t going to school in something aviation related(though I plan to once I get my AA). Maybe I’m just not in a great mood. I don’t know. I just know I need to solo soon. Which isn’t going to happen. Since surgery is a week from today, and I wont be flying for a week after that. There should be no reason why I can’t solo before I hit 30 hours. I’m getting discouraged and I’m afraid that when I walk out to preflight that plane instead of being excited I’m going to look at it as just another lesson to get through. I don’t want that. I don’t want my flight training to become a chore. I'm starting to fear that maybe I'm just not a good pilot.. I don't want to think it. I love this too much, this is all I want. But, lets face it. Not everyone can be a pilot. I hope that's not my case. Yet, I have that fear in the back of my mind. I know I could land the plane without my instructor. I'm confident in my abilities. I've done it tons of times without him touching the controls. I'm confident in myself, but he is not confident in me. Which worries me. 

Total cost invested thus far: $4860